


your world’s gonna leave you behind

by lindsayweir



Category: Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, My First Fanfic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i'm new here idk how this works, it's more likely than you think, sho/fred fanfic? in the year 2020?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsayweir/pseuds/lindsayweir
Summary: Fredrick knows he will never be enough for her, but that won’t stop him from trying.
Relationships: Shosanna Dreyfus/Fredrick Zoller
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	your world’s gonna leave you behind

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you so much for stopping by! This is my first-ever attempt at writing fanfiction, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it. The story title is a lyric from [“Friend of Mine”](https://youtu.be/QgJOWIonCa4) by Whitney.

“I don’t wish to be your friend.”

The words had stung in Fredrick’s ears, ringing even louder than the unending gunfire did those three days in Italy. She said it so nonchalantly, not even bothering to look up from her book as she struck him, unable to see the way his smile faded at her pronouncement. He had considered her aloofness during their first meeting the product of post-projection drowsiness—Fredrick himself understood how taxing a long day of working a cinema could be—or even just a mark of the difference between French and German congeniality. She _had_ indulged him in conversation, after all, and even assured him of her respect for German directors, but Fredrick was beginning to feel unsure.

“I don’t wish to be _your_ friend.”

As if it didn’t matter how cordial he was. As if it didn’t matter how much guilt he felt for his actions in Italy. As if it didn’t matter what he did at all. He could have a chat with her about cinema, comparing Marlene Dietrich to Bridget von Hammersmark, or tell her about the gruesome nightmares that haunted him. He could share how his mind played it back for him every night, constantly reminding him of the horrors he had committed. He could explain to her the brutality of the war, and what it did to him, a scared young man desperate to survive, not for himself or for his country, but for his family. _Oh, how he missed his family_. He could bare his soul to this woman, but it would make no difference to Emmanuelle Mimieux. He would always be a German war hero, even after he took off the uniform.

As Fredrick walked back to his hotel room that afternoon, a lavish but lonely accommodation procured for him by Herr Goebbels, he couldn’t help but feel deeply embarrassed by the mademoiselle’s rejection. He was like a puppy, the kicked and abused one who keeps going back to his master, hoping he can do something, prove somehow that he is good and deserving of love. He knew that she would never love him, but even so, Fredrick knew he couldn’t live without her.

He was utterly enamored with her. Even before he spoke to her, he had fallen in love with her cinema. Amidst the whirlwind of press and promotion he was obligated to do for _Stolz der Nation_ , he stumbled upon Le Gamaar one night. It reminded him of his family’s theatre, and it became his singular comfort in Paris. He had visited the cinema three times before he finally worked up the courage to approach her after the screening of _Piz Palü_.

Up close, she was even more enchanting. He adored the way the tips of her butter-blonde hair grazed her shoulders, how her green eyes twinkled under the night sky, and the small scar that sat just above her left cheekbone. It was the only blemish to be found on her otherwise cream-smooth face. He thought of it as the indication that she was, in fact, a real human woman, and not the divine angel that she looked.

Fredrick tried to tell himself that his infatuation would pass, that it was just the result of his reintegration into civil society. _All French women are beautiful_ , he thought. _She just happened to be the first one I noticed_. But he knew it wasn’t true. He knew that there was something special about this Emmanuelle and that he would never, ever be able to forget her. He felt it must’ve been fate that brought them together, though he didn’t yet understand why. Maybe he was destined to love her, even if she was destined to despise him. Maybe he could change her mind, or maybe he couldn’t. It did not matter.

He would visit Le Gamaar every week, spend all his money on movie tickets, just to keep her presence in his life. After the war, he’d invite his sisters to visit him in Paris and they could all attend the cinema together. He wondered if they might show _Stolz der Nation_. He hoped not. Fredrick had not yet seen the final cut of the film, even the star of the show had to wait for Goebbels’ grand premiere, but he knew he wouldn’t like it. He thought the film to be a gratuitous display of military propaganda, though he would never say that aloud to anyone.

Except, of course, for Emmanuelle. He felt so comfortable when he was around her, even if she didn’t return the sentiment. If only he could be in the same room as her during the premiere, it would make it all the more bearable for him. He didn’t know if he was allowed to bring a date, and even then, he was sure she’d never accept the invitation.

 _Perhaps_ , he thought, and before he could even finish thinking it, the idea was rooted in his brain, as stubborn and fast-growing as a weed.

He would approach Goebbels and request the venue be changed to Le Gamaar. Fredrick knew it was a selfish desire, that it was purely for his own comfort and peace of mind. If Goebbels agreed, it might even make Emmanuelle detest him more, but that didn’t matter to Fredrick. He loved her, he loved her so intensely, it was worth the risk of ruining everything just to have one more night by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for taking the time to read this, it really means a lot to me. Like I said, I’m _very_ new to this, so any and all comments/feedback/questions/constructive criticism are greatly appreciated! I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it, as well.


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